Realizing that I am only human has really dampened my spirits lately. In life I have always felt the need to do more, the need to be more. I have never been satisfied with me, in the now. This feeling only intensified after I had Maddy, and even more so after I went back to work. A part of chatter in my head says "Go ahead, keep doing. You can do more, you can do better". Then another part of the chatter in my head tells me "Not so much, your only one person!" Which chatter to listen to? Well, my pregnant body has begun to side with the voice of reason, that is the one that says "Not so much, you are only one person!". Is this true?!?!? I really can't do it all?
In my opinion, I think it is deeply embeded in every mother's personality to try to be everything, because truely, we are everything. Moms are nurses, managers, accountants, teachers, and chefs. We wear every hat every day. One hundred jobs wrapped up into one box with a shiny label on it that says, "Mommy". And the older our children get, the more they expect us to be.
So this mommy is torn between the "what I could be's" and the "what I am". Any other moms feeling torn?
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